Teese me, please me? Review: Teese 'Mozzarella'


There are many dairy-free cheeses on the market now, but few are palatable in all honesty. Teese is the latest to appear in the UK and promises a vegan mozzarella that melts and stretches just like the dairy stuff. Does it deliver?




Slice open the packet and it looks pretty convincing for Mozzarella, being white, dense and slightly rubbery. The smell too is about the most convincing cheesy aroma we've come across. It also cuts and grates pretty well, which is promising, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating of course. So how does it taste?...let the disappointment begin. Raw, this can only be described as a great imitation of Dairylea triangles. The bite is very soft and the flavour is very bland. You probably wouldn't even notice you had this on a sandwich...it would be more bland than the bread. So let's get to the hot melty, stretchy, tasty pizza topping test...


We started to worry about the Teese when our test pizza had almost burned and the stuff still hadn't melted! What happened to the 'melts and stretches like mozzarella'? We had to concede defeat before the pizza was incinerated, but couldn't get any melting going on. Without any melting there was no stretching to be had either, so there is no money shot in this review of stretchy vegan cheese. That's disappointing enough, but the taste hadn't improved with the time in the oven either...it added practically nothing to our pizza and could barely even be tasted...with the flavour getting lost completely.

This stuff is expensive and we really can't recommend it. You're better off with some of the cheaper dairy free cheeses you can now buy in supermarkets. The quest for good vegan cheese goes on.


UPDATE
Teese seems to perform better under the grill than in the oven. With a red hot grill you can get Teese to melt and bubble and it even stretches a bit too..

Teese slices ready for the grill

Bubbling under a red hot grill

Grilled and melted

Looks pretty tasty

The money shot? stretchy vegan cheese...

The grilled Teese-on-toast was actually not bad, if still a little bland. We suggest you stick to grilling though if you want the melty stretchy cheesy action. We gave our pizza 15 minutes in an oven at 200C and it barely melted. All in all, mixed results...could be better.


veganoo score: ★★★☆☆
Teese Vegan Cheese Alternative











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